PUB SING 2009

Sailor's Prayer

Though my sails be torn and tattered and my mast be turned about
Let the night wind chill me to my very soul
Though the spray might sting my eyes and the stars no light provide
Give me just another morning light to hold

For I will not lie me down, this rain a ragin
I will not lie me down in such a storm
And if this night be unblessed I shall not take my rest
Until I reach another shore

Though the only water left is but salt to wound my thirst
I will drink the rain that falls so steady down
Though night blindness be my gift and there be thieves upon my drift
I will thank the fog that shelters me along

For I will not lie me down, this rain a ragin
I will not lie me down in such a storm
And if   this night be unblessed I shall not take my rest
Until I reach another shore

Though my mates be drained and weary and believe their hopes are lost
There's no need for their bones on that blackened bottom
And though Death waits just off the bow, we will not answer to him now
He shall stand to greet the morning light without us.

For I will not lie me down, this rain a ragin
I will not lie me down in such a storm
And if this night be unblessed I shall not take my rest
Until I reach another shore

For I will not lie me down, this rain a ragin
I will not lie me down in such a storm
And if this night be unblessed I shall not take my rest
Until I reach another shore

Haul Away Joe

When I was a little lad, so my mother told me
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

That if I did not kiss the girls, my lips would all grow moldy,
too me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

Way, haul away, the good ship now is rolling
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

Once in my life I married a wife but she was fat and lazy
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

And then I met an Irish girl, she damn near drove me crazy
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

Way haul away, we're bound for better weather
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

First a man’s a squire who tried to start a revolution
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

And then he got his head cut off, it spoiled his constitution
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

Way, haul away, the good ship now is rolling
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

You call yourself a second mate, but you can’t tie a bowline
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

Can’t even stand up straight, when the ship’s a-rolling
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

Way haul away, we're bound for better weather
to me
Way haul away, we'll haul away Joe

Paddy Lay Back

'Twas a cold and wintry morning one December (December)
Allof me money, it was spent (spent, spent)
Where to it went I can't remember (remember)
So down to the shipping office I went (went, went)

Chorus
Paddy lay back (Paddy lay back)
Take in the slack (take in the slack)
Take a turn around the capstan, heave a pawl! (heave a pawl)
About the ship's stations, boys, be handy. (We're handy)
We're bound for the Valparaiso 'round the Horn!

Well it was on the quarterdeck where when first saw 'em. (saw 'em)
Such an ugly lot you never did see before (see before)
There’s a bum and stiff in every quarter (Quarter)
An' it made me poor ol' heart feel sick and sore (Sick and sore)

Chorus

Now there were Spaniards an' Rooshians, an’ Dutchmen (Dutchmen)
An' Johnny Crapoos was just across from France (France, France)
Not a man of them spoke a word of English (English)
They answered to the name of `Month's Advance!' ('Month's Advance!')

Chorus

Now some of the fellers had been drinkin', (drinkin')
An' I meself was heavy on the booze. (booze booze)
So I sat upon me ol' sea-chest a' thinkin' (a' thinkin')
That I'm goin’ to me bunk an' have a snooze. (have a snooze.)

Chorus

So I asked the mate a-which a-watch was mine-O (mine-O)
He says you'll soon find out which is which (which is which)
Then he beat me down an' kicked me hard a stern-O (a stern-O)
And called me a dirty lousy son of a fish (son of a fish)

Chorus

Well they called us up on deck to reef the top sails (the top sails)
Belayin’ pins were flying around the deck (around the deck)
And the cook was stealing brandy from the captain (the captain)
And I know I’ll never make it on this wreck (on this wreck)

Chorus

Jolly Rovin' Tar

(aka Get up Jack! John Sit Down)

Ships may come and ships may go
As long as the sea does roll
Each sailor lad just like his dad
He loves the flowing bowl
A trip ashore he does adore
With a girl who's nice and round
When the money's all gone
It's the same old song
Get up Jack John sit down

Chorus
Come along, come along, You jolly brave boys,
There's lots of grog in the jar
We'll plough the briny ocean
With the jolly roving tar

When Jack comes in, it's then he'll steer
To some old boarding house
They'll welcome him with run and gin,
And feed him on pork scouse
He'll lend and spend and not offend
Till he lies drunk on the ground
When the money's all gone
It's the same old song
Get up Jack John sit down

Chorus

It's then he'll sail aboard some ship
For India or Japan
In Asia there, the ladies fair
All love the sailor man.
He'll go ashore, out on a tear
And he'll buy some girl a gown.
When the money's all gone
It's the same old song
Get up Jack John sit down

Chorus

When Jack gets old and weatherbeat,
Too old to roam about,
In some rum shop, they'll let him stop
Till eight bells calls him out.
He'll raise his eyes up to the skies,
Sayin' “Boys, we're homeward bound.”
When the money's all gone
It's the same old song
Get up Jack John sit down

Chorus X2

All For Me Grog

Chorus
Well it's all for me grog, me jolly jolly grog
All for me beer and tobacco
For I spent all me tin on the lassies drinking gin
Far across the western ocean I must wander

Where are me boots, me noggin', noggin' boots?
All gone for beer and tobacco
For the soles are worn out and the heels are kicked about
And the toes are looking out for better weather

Chorus

Where is me shirt, my noggin', noggin' shirt?
It's all gone for beer and tobacco
For the collar is all worn, and the sleeves are ripped and torn
And the tail is looking out for better weather

Chorus

There’s a pain in me head and I haven't been to bed
Since first I come ashore with me plunder
I’ve seen centipedes and snakes
and I’m filled with pains and aches
Far across the Western Ocean I must wander

Chorus X 2

Drunken Sailor

What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor
Earl-aye in the morning?

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Earl-aye in the morning

Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Earl-eye in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Earl-aye in the morning

Sling him in the long boat till he's sober
Sling him in the long boat till he's sober
Sling him in the long boat till he's sober
Earl-eye in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Earl-aye in the morning

Keep him there and make 'im bale 'er
Keep him there and make 'im bale 'er
Keep him there and make 'im bale 'er
Earl-eye in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Earl-aye in the morning

What do you do with a drunken sailor,
What do you do with a drunken sailor,
What do you do with a drunken sailor,
Earl-aye in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Earl-aye in the morning

Take 'im, shake 'im, try an' wake 'im.
Take 'im, shake 'im, try an' wake 'im.
Take 'im, shake 'im, try an' wake 'im.
Earl-aye in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Earl-aye in the morning

Give 'im a dose of salt and water
Give 'im a dose of salt and water
Give 'im a dose of salt and water
Earl-aye in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Earl-aye in the morning

Throw him in the lock-up 'til he's sober,
Throw him in the lock-up 'til he's sober,
Throw him in the lock-up 'til he's sober,
Earl-eye in the morning

That's what we'll do with the drunken sailor
That's what we'll do with the drunken sailor
That's what we'll do with the drunken sailor
Earl-eye in the morning

 

Johnny Jump Up

I’ll tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Cork by the sea
The sun it was hot and the day it was warm
Says I a quiet pint wouldn’t do me no harm

I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman, I’m sorry all the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or paddy, ten years in the wood
Says I, I’ll try cider, I’ve heard it was good.

Chorus

Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up

After downing the third I went out to the yard
Where I bumped into Brody, the big yeoman guard
Come here to me boy, don’t you know I’m the law?
Well, I up with me fist and I shattered his jaw

He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn’t I hit him. ‘twas Johnny Jump Up
The next thing I remember down in Cork by the sea
Was me taking a swig of that cider so sweet.

Chorus

I went out to Lee Road, a friend for to see
They call it the madhouse in Cork by the sea
But when I got there, sure the truth I will tell
They had this poor bugger locked up in a cell

Said the guard said to him, say these works if you can
Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran
Tell him I’m not crazy, tell him I’m not mad
It was only a sip of the bottle I had

Chorus

Well... There once was a Sheriff by the name of McNabb
They dressed him and laid him outside on the slab
And after the parlours measurements did take
His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake

Twas about 12 and the beer was so high
The corpse sits up and says with a sigh
I can’t get to heaven, they won’t let me up
Till I bring them a quart of that Johnny Jump Up

Chorus

So if ever you go down to Cork by the sea
Stay out of the ale house and take it from me
If you want to stay sane don’t dare take a sup
Of that devil drink called Johnny Jump Up

Chorus

 

Flowing Bowl

Chorus
Landlord fill the flowing bowl until it doth run over,
Landlord fill the flowing bowl until it doth run over.
For tonight we’ll merry merry be,
For tonight we’ll merry merry be,
For tonight we’ll merry merry be,.. tomorrow we'll be sober.

Here's to the man who drinks water pure and goes to bed quite sober,
Here's to the man who drinks water pure and goes to bed quite sober,
He falls as the leaves do fall,
falls as the leaves do fall,
falls as the leaves do fall... he'll die before October.

Here's to the man who drinks good ale and goes to bed quite mellow,
Here's to the man who drinks good ale and goes to bed quite mellow,
He lives as he ought to live,
lives as he ought to live,
lives as he ought to live.. he'll die a jolly old fellow.

Chorus

Here's to the maid who steals a kiss, and runs to tell her mother,
Here's to the maid who steals a kiss, and runs to tell her mother,
She's a foolish foolish lass,
She's a foolish foolish lass,
She's a foolish foolish lass.. for she'll not get another.

Here's to the maid who steals a kiss, and stays to have another,
Here's to the maid who steals a kiss, and stays to have another,
she's a boon to all mankind,
she's a boon to all mankind,
she's a boon to all mankind... for she'll soon be a mother.

Chorus

 

Whiskey In The Jar

As I was going over the far famed Kerry mountains
I met with captain Farrell and his money he was counting.
I first produced my pistol, and then produced my rapier.
Said stand and deliver, for I am a bold deceiver,

Chorus
musha ring dumma do damma da
whack for the daddy 'ol
whack for the daddy 'ol
there's whiskey in the jar

I counted out his money, and it made a pretty penny.
I put it in my pocket and I took it home to Jenny.
She said and she swore, that she never would deceive me,
but the devil take the women, for they never can be easy

Chorus

I went into my chamber, all for to take a slumber,
I dreamt of gold and jewels and for sure it was no wonder.
But Jenny took my charges and she filled them up with water,
Then sent for captain Farrel to be ready for the slaughter.

Chorus

It was early in the morning, as I rose up for travel,
The guards were all around me and likewise captain Farrel.
I first produced my pistol, for she stole away my rapier,
But I couldn't shoot the water so a prisoner I was taken.

Chorus

If anyone can aid me, it's my brother in the army,
If I can find his station down in Cork or in Killarney.
And if he'll come and save me, we'll go roving near Kilkenny,
And I swear he'll treat me better than me darling sportling Jenny

Chorus

Now some men take delight in the drinking and the roving,
But others take delight in the gambling and the smoking.
But I take delight in the juice of the barley,
And courting pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early

 

The Leprechaun

There's a Leprechaun in me head, and I wish that I were dead
For I don't think he'll e'er let me be.
Oh, he tempts me with his gold, and if I were e'er so bold,
I'd strangle him and leave him in the street.

Chorus
Well, he says to me, "Ah, you're no Irish Lassie!
And ye call that thing a harp?"
But each time I share the lore that I am learning.
He hides in shame while my friends they chant.
La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai
La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai

There's a leprechaun in my room. He swats me with a broom.
That's the reason I forget the words of this song.
Well, he shows me a four-leaf clover, and before me song is over,
It's buried in a bowl of Lucky Charms.

Chorus

Ther'es a leprechaun on the floor, and he says that I'm a bore.
He yawns aloud as I sing my song.
He feigns one last breathe stolen, but I see his eyes are open.
And he's watching me with envy deep inside.

Chorus

There's a leprechaun on a hill, and his gold is buried there.
So I grab him by the neck 'fore he gets away.
The pot's too heavy, he giggles, so I pinch me just a little,
And he thinks he's fooled me as I run away.

Chorus

Well, he says to me, "Ah, you're no Irish Lassie!
And ye call that thing a harp?"
But each time I share the lore that I am learning.
He lifts his head and then sings along.
La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai
La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai

La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai
La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai

Old Dun Cow

Some friends and I in a public house
Was playing a game of chance one night
When into the pub a fireman ran
His face all a chalky white.
"What's up", says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost,
Or have you seen your Aunt Mariah?"
"Me Aunt Mariah be buggered!", says he,
"The bleedin' pub's on fire!"

Chorus
And there was Brown upside down
Lappin'' up the whiskey on the floor.
"Booze, booze!" The firemen cried
As they came knockin' on the door(clap clap or knock knock)
Oh don't let 'em in till it's all drunk up
And somebody shouted MacIntyre! (MACINTYRE!)
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire.

"Oh well," says Brown, "What a bit of luck.
Everybody follow me.
And it's down to the cellar
If the fire's not there
Then we'll have a grand old spree."
So we went on down after good old Brown
The booze we could not miss
And we hadn't been there ten minutes or more
Till we were quite pissed.

Chorus

Then, Smith walked over to the port wine tub
And gave it just a few hard knocks
Started takin' off his pantaloons
Likewise his shoes and socks.
"Hold on, " says Brown, "that ain't allowed
Ya cannot do that thing here.
Don't go washin' trousers in the port wine tub
When we got Guinness beer."

Chorus

Then there came from the old back door
The Vicar of the local church.
And when he saw our drunken ways,
He began to scream and curse.
"Ah, you drunken sods! You heathen clods!
You've taken to a drunken spree!
You drank up all the Benedictine wine
And you didn't save a drop for me!"

Chorus

And then there came a mighty crash
Half the bloody roof caved in.
We were almost drowned in the firemen's hose
But still we were gonna stay.
So we got some tacks and some old wet sacks
And we nailed ourselves inside
And we sat drinking the finest Rum
Till we were bleary-eyed.

Chorus

Later that night, when the fire was out
We came up from the cellar below.
Our pub was burned. Our booze was drunk.
Our heads was hanging low.
"Oh look", says Brown with a look quite queer.
Seems something raised his ire.
"Now we gotta get down to Murphy's Pub,
It closes on the hour!"

Chorus

 

The Fireship

(As sung by the Sultry Siren of Sin & The Rakish Rogues)

Chorus:
She'd a dark and a rovin' eye,
And her hair hung down in ring-a-lets.
She was a nice girl, a decent girl,
But one of the rakish kind.

As I went out one evening afor a night's career,
I spied a lofty vessel and for her I did steer.
I hoisted her my sig-in-als which she very quickly knew,
And when she seen me bunting rise, she immediately hove to.

Chorus

Oh, sir you must excuse me for being out so late,
But if my parents knew of it, oh, sad would be my fate.
My father he's a minister, a good and honest man.
My mother, she's a Catholic; So I do the best I can.

Chorus

I took her to a tavern and treated her to wine,
but little did I figure she was one of the rakish kind.
I handled her, I dandled her, and found to my surprise,
She was nothing but a fire ship rigged up in a disquise.

Chorus

So come all you seamen, who on the streets do sail,
If you should seek companionship, beware of the ships you hail.
I'd barely left my Fireship, It was hardly a week gone past
When I found the fire that burned in her, was raging on my mast!

Chorus
She was a nice girl, a decent girl,
But one of the rakish kind.

 

I like a Moose

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I'd play with their corsets and fondle their curls.
'Till one day, my lady I caught with some churl,
Now you'd never get treated that way by a moose.

Chorus:
And it's moose! Moose! I want a moose!
I have never had anything quite like a moose!
I've had many women, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose

Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay.
I go to my window and spread it around.
'Cause moose always come when there's hay on the ground.

Well, I've done it with all sorts of beasties with hair,
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there,
I've done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Oh, gorillas are fun on a Saturday night,
And lions and tigers can put up a fight,
But it's not quite the same when I ram their caboose,
As the feeling I get when I hump on a moose.

I've tried many beasties on land or on sea
I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!
Sharks are quite good, tho they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose!

Woodchucks are all right except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits won't last thru the night!
Cows would be fun, but they're hard to seduce
But you never need worry should you find a moose!

Step in my study, and trophies you'll find
A black striped tiger and scruffy maned lion
You'll know the elephant by his ivory tooth
And the one that's a-winking, you know is the moose!

The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six
Machine guns and tigers I've proved do not mix
The elephant fell by a bomb with a fuse
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose!

When I go a huntin', I don't take a gun,
I just take myself and have lots of fun.
I get up behind them, then get myself loose,
Now I've never had anything quite like a moose!

I've found many women attracted to me
A few of them have had me over for tea
Some say that they love me when they're feeling loose
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose!

The good Lord made Adam, and then He made Eve
Said He: "If you sin now, I'll ask you to leave!"
They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit
But 'cause Adam decided the moose there were cute!

The English are said to like boars who've had corn
The Celtics just dream of the young Unicorn
The Germans, it's said, just need leather and rope
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope!

The king of the gods is a fellow named Zeus,
On top of Olympus with an urge to seduce.
They offered him virgins but he'd just refuse,
"Screw all of your virgins and bring me a moose!"

Oh, the bride of ol' Bill, it's never been told
Had surrendered her virtue indecently bold
But she still has her "Moose" - she's happily his wife
Proof even a woman can have one for life.

Now I've broken the laws in this god-awful state
They've put me in prison and locked up the gate
They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose!

Next morning the Governor's word reached my ears
"We've commuted your sentence to ninety-nine years!"
"You won't get parole; not a five minute's truce,
And your friend goes to Sing-Sing, he's so big-a-moose!"

Well, now that I'm old and advanced in my years,
When I look at my past I'll shed me no tears,
As I sit in my rocker with a glass of Mateus,
Playing hide the salami with Millie the Moose!

 

Seven Nights Drunk

As I came home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Hey Wife, you tramp!
What do you want you drunkin Wanker?
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow I've never seen before

As I came home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Hey Wife, you tramp!
What do you want you drunkin Wanker?
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely blanket, me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket I've never seen before

As I came home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Hey Wife, you tramp!
What do you want you drunkin Wanker?
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle I've never seen before

As I came home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Hey Wife, you tramp!
What do you want you drunkin Wanker?
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns those boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
Those are two Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces on Geranium pots I never seen before

As I came home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Hey Wife, you tramp!
What do you want you drunkin Wanker?
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a baby boy me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But whiskers on a baby boy I've never seen before

As I came home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my own hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Hey Wife, you tramp!
What do you want you drunkin Wanker?
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns those hands upon your breasts where my own hands should be
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely night gown me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown I've never seen before

As I came home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a (clap) inside her (clap) where my own (clap) should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Hey Wife, you tramp!
What do you want you drunkin Wanker?
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that (clap) inside your (clap) where my own (clap) should be
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
So drunk you can not see
That's a lovely candlestick me mother sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But curly hair on a candlestick I've never seen before

 

Maids, when you're young never wed an old man

An old man came courting me
Hey do a dority
An old man came courting me
Me being young
An old man came courting me
All for to marry me
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

Chorus
For he's got no faloodorum, fadidledo doorum
For he's got no faloodoorum, fadidleday
He's got no faloorum, he's lost his ding doorum
So maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to the church, hey do a dority
When we went to the church, me being young
When we went to the church, he left me in the lurch
Maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Chorus...

Now when we went to our bed, hey do a dority
Now when we went to our bed, me being young
When we went to our bed, he neither done nor said
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

Chorus...

Now when he went to sleep, hey do a dority
Now when we went to sleep, me being young
When we went to sleep, out of bed I did creep
Into the arms of a handsome young man

And I found his falodoorum, fa didle dodoorum
I found his faloodoorum, fa didle all day
I found his falodoorum and he got my dingdoorum
so maids when you're young never wed an old man

Extra verse
This is a popular verse to add when the song is sung from the male perspective about some nameless young woman.

She threw her leg over him, hey do a dority
She threw her leg over him, her being young
She threw her leg over him, damn nearly smothered him.
Maids when you're young, never wed an old man.

 

Whiskey

Bring me some whiskey, mother
I'm feeling frisky, mother
Bring me a sheep for I am lonely tonight
I need a lover, mother
No, not my brother, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night

Sheep never talk about it
They never ever doubt it
Always so placid, affectionate and nice
Bring me that lanolin
Better than flannel-in

I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
Owls, bats and other critters
Just seem to give me jitters
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
Gerbils don't make it, mother
They just can't take it, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night

Call out the Glasgow bobbies
We'll teach them brand new hobbies
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
Bring me a sheep, dear mother
Slip it beneath the covers
England may rule the seas, but Scotland's depraved

Some think a swine is fine
And some like a horse of course but
Those in the know, know that sheep are the best
Their fleece is soft and white
They keep you warm at night
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night

 

Caviar (Virgin Sturgeon)

Chorus
Caviar comes from virgin sturgeon
Virgin sturgeon's a mighty fine fish
No good sturgeon wants be a virgin
That's why caviar is a very rare dish!

Shad roe comes from scarlet shad fish
Shad fish have a very sad fate
Pregnant shad fish is a sad fish
Got that way without a mate!

Chorus

I fed caviar to my grandma
She was nearly ninety-three
Shouts and screams were heard from grandpa
As she chased him up a tree!

Chorus

I fed caviar to the rooster
I fed caviar to the cow,
Now the barnyard sure looks funny:
All the cows have feathers now!

Chorus

I put caviar in the punchbowl,
That livened up the party, sure.
What am l doing stripped down naked ?
Thought these boys were sweet and pure.

Chorus

Give a thought to the happy codfish
Always there when duty calls,
Female cod fish is an odd fish
From her come your cod fish balls!

Chorus

The green sea-turtle's mate is happy
With her lover's winning ways
First he grips her with his flipper
Then they flip for days and days!

Chorus

I fed caviar to my sweetheart,
He always did it cheerfully.
Now he does it with a vengeance,
Oh, my God, it's killing me.

Chorus

The oyster is a prolific bivalve
Keeps its' innards in its' shell,
How they diddle is a riddle,
But they do, so what the hell!

Chorus X2

 

Pump Away

Chorus
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away
Pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.
Pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and we’ll have a real good time
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away

Well I gave him favours one, favours one
favours one
I gave him favours one, favours one
favours one
I gave him favours one, and the party's just begun
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours two, favours two
favours two
I gave him favours two, favours two
favours two
I gave him favours two, come up for air, you're turning blue
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours three, favours three
favours three
I gave him favours three, favours three
favours three
I gave him favours three, and I brought him to his knees
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours four, favours four
favours four
I gave him favours four, favours four
favours four
I gave him favours four, and we wound up on the floor
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours five, favours five
favours five
I gave him favours five, favours five
favours five
I gave him favours five, I ‘m surprised he’d still alive.
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours six, favours six
favours six
I gave him favours six, favours six
favours six
I gave him favours six, and I taught him some new tricks
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours seven, favours seven
favours seven
I gave him favours seven, favours seven
favours seven
I gave him favours seven, and I sent him straight to hevean
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours eight, favours eight
favours eight
I gave him favours eight, favours eight
favours eight
I gave him favours eight, and surprise I’m three weeks late.
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours nine, favours nine
favours nine
I gave him favours nine, favours nine
favours nine
I gave him favours nine, and he took me from behind
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

Chorus

I gave him favours ten, favours ten
favours ten
I gave him favours ten, favours ten
favours ten
I gave him favours ten, found out we really need you men
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away, pump away
Put your shoulder next to mine and pump away.

 

The Clean Song

There was a young sailor
Who looked through the glass,
And spied a fair mermaid
With scales on her island


Where seagulls
Fly over their nests
She combed the long hair
That hung over her shoulders

And caused her
To tickle and itch.
The sailor cried out
"There's a beautiful mermaid,"

A-sitting out
There on the rocks,
The crew came around
A-grabbing their glasses

And crowded four deep
To the rail,
All eager to share
In this fine piece of news.

Which the captain soon
Heard from the watch.
He tied down the wheel
And he reached for his crackers

And cheese which
He kept near the door.
In case he might someday
Encounter a mermaid.

He knew he must
Use all his wits
Crying "Throw out a line.
We'll lasso her flippers."

And then we will
Certainly find
If mermaids are better
Before or be brave

My good fellows."
The captain then said.
"With fortune we'll break
Through her mermaiden head-

-ing to starboard
They tacked with dispatch.
And caught that fair mermaid
Just under her elbows

And hustled her
Down below decks,
And each took a turn
At her feminine setting

Her free at the end
Of the farce,
She splashed in the waves,
Falling flat on her after

A while one man
Noticed some scabs,
Soon they broke out with the pox
And the scratching

With fury,
Cursing with spleen,
This song may be dull
But it's certainly clean.

 

Loch Lomond

 

Health To The Company

Kind friends and companions, come join me in rhyme
Come lift up your voices in chorus with mine
Let us drink and be merry, all grief to refrain
For we may and might never all meet here again

Chorus
Here's a health to the company and one to my lass
Let us drink and be merry all out of one glass
Let us drink and be merry, all grief to refrain
For we may and might never all meet here again

Here's a health to the wee lass that I love so well
Her style and her beauty, sure none can excel
There's a smile on her countenance as she sits on my knee
Sure there's no one in in this wide world as happy as me

Chorus

Our ship lies at harbour, it's ready to dock
I wish it safe landing without any shock
And if ever we should meet you by land or by sea
I will always remember your kindness to me

Chorus X2